A

PIECE OF

MY MIND

This is 30!

Din 30 in 30 de ani promit sa va plictisesc cu cateva concluzii personale. Poate ajuta sau poate iti dai seama ca nu esti singur.
Cateodata trebuie doar sa te prinzi si sa te bucuri de gluma. Chiar daca, cateodata gluma e pe seama ta. Am invatat ca ne luam prea in serios suntem prea “intepati” si stiff. Suntem mereu presati si obsedati de scara verticala pe toate planurile; cata educatie, cati bani, cat confort, cat calatorit, cati cai putere si din pacate nu in ultimul rand cate like-uri.

Daca am invatat ceva nou in anii astia ... pe langa faptul ca trebuie sa stai mereu drept chiar daca ai lacrimi in ochi, ca trebuie sa ai mereu coloana vertrebrala, ca trebuie sa iubesti si sa ierti, ca e al naibii de bine sa faci fix ce vrei, cand vrei si ca niciodata sa nu alegi probabilitatea de a regreta ceva ce n-ai facut in detrimentul regretului unei actiuni de orice fel in orice context ... noutatea este ca am invatat ca nu esti tot timpul vinovat sau meritos. Viata se mai si intampla. Dar asta nu inseamna ca nu trebuie sa lupti pana castigi sau pana ajungi la finish line.

Chiar conteaza cate tari, continente si lucruri noi vezi in viata asta? Conteaza numarul lor sau cate de departe sunt? Conteaza ca scaunul de la masina are memorie sau ca la baie ai un perete de sticla prin care vezi marea?

As fi un ipocrit sa zic ca nu sunt lucruri misto pe care clar nu e rau sa le ai Dar oriunde o sa te gasesti in viata asta si oricat de multa memorie are scaunul ala, mereu o sa te gandesti cu nostalgie, pe rand, la copilarie, adolescenta, tinerete si la acum 10 ani! Si nu e pentru ca nu aveai griji sau ca aveai peretele ala de sticla cu vedere la mare in baie.

De fapt, cel mai probabil mergeai cu personalul la mare si erai numai un ras in cele 5 sau 7 ore pana la mare (se mai si oprea in camp la 40 de grade pentru vreo 2 ore). Aveai ora de venit acasa, teze, lucrari si mai tarziu examene si program de munca. Dar stateai pana dimineata la vorba cu un prieten. Si cateodata calatoreai in niste peisaje ce n-a vazut planeta asta doar pentru ca ai inebunit cu ea pe plaja din Vama Veche sau intr-o camera mica si demodata dintr-un bloc comunist. Era pentru ca aveam mai multa disponibilitate sa ne asumam riscuri, sa ne ascultam si sa iubim in 100 de feluri.

De multe ori am calatorit intre 4 pereti, intr-un weekend superb in care nu am iesit din casa, mai mult decat calatoresc pilotii de avion o viata intreaga. Suna a hiperbola, dar sincer nu cred ca acopera conceptul pe care vreau sa il tansmit.

Am 30 de ani azi dar imi dau seama ca n-am imbatranit o zi. Nu stiu cata memorie o sa aiba scaunul ala de masina dar stiu ca nu l-as pune la realizari asa cum n-am facut-o niciodata.

Suna foarte hippie si poate chiar e, dar la realizari sunt toti oamenii absolut geniali pe care am avut norocul sa ii primesc sub forma unei familii si cei pe care am stiut sau am avut norocul sa ii atrag in ea.

Ma inclin in fata tuturor si le multumesc pentru fiecare clipa si fiecare moment in care am explodat de bucurie impreuna facand lucruri poate banale pentru telespectatorul de rand.

Viata e arta. Nu conteaza cat de mare e tabloul sau cat de tare tipi pe scena … trebuie sa ai grija doar la nuante sau acorduri. Nu e vorba despre “cat?" e totdeauna vorba despre "cu cine?” si pe ce sound track pentru mine … intr-o expresie … fascinatia de traii.

TIC-TAC

TIC: You know what occurred to me?
TAC: No.
TIC: You’re just a kid. You don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.

So if I asked you about art,
you’d probably give me the skinny ... on every art book ever written. Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life’s work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? But I bet you can’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seeing that.

If I ask you about women,
you’ll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can’t tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman ... and feel truly happy.

If I asked you about love,
you’d probably quote me a sonnet, but you’ve never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn’t know what it’s like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. And you wouldn’t know about sleepin’ sittin’ up in a hospital room ... for two months, holding her hand,

because the doctors could see in your eyes ... that the terms "visiting hours" don’t apply to you.

You don’t know about real loss, ‘cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you’ve ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you. I don’t see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you’re a genius, TAC. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin’ life apart.

Your move, chief.

TIC-TAC

The summer was extraordinary. It was a season of rebirth and innocence. A miracle ...
But now we have to adjust to the realities of miracles. We can hide behind the veil of science and say the drug failed. Or that the illness itself had returned.

But the reality is we don’t know what went wrong any more than we know what went right. What we do know is, as the chemical window closed, another awakening took place. The human spirit is more powerful than any drug. And that is what needs to be nourished. With work, play, friendship, family.

These are the things that matter.
This is what we'd forgotten.
The simplest things.

TIC-TAC

You know, I do a shitload of reading and studying and praying, and I've come to a few conclusions I want to share.
People look at politicians and celebrities on the TV and the newspapers, glossy magazines.

What do they see?

"I'm just like them." That's what they say. "I'm special.I'm different. I could be any one of them."

Well, guess what?
You can't. You know why?


'Cause in reality, mediocrity's where most people live. Mediocrity is the elephant in the room. It's ubiquitous. Mediocrity in your schools. It's in your dreams. It's in your family. And those of us who know this, those of us who understand the disease of the dull, we do something about it. We do more because we have to. The deck was always stacked against us.You're either a big leaguer, or you're a slave clawing your way onto the "C" train.

I'm TIC.
And oh, yeah, I work out every day.

travel

you never travel for a place, you always travel to and for a mindset

tata

Exista un singur om care reprezinta,in viziunea mea, definitia barbatului.

Da sunt subiectiv, dar in 29 de ani nu am intalnit pe nimeni altcineva care sa dea dovada de verticalitate, tenacitate, dragoste, devotament, rabdare si subtilitate fara exceptie.

Lista de mai sus contine valori si termeni care azi ne par utopice, inutile sau chiar ne stanjenesc.

Baieti, barbatii adevarati din asta sunt construiti.

LA MULTI ANI TATA ! TE IUBESC !

TIC-TAC

TIC: How did you manage to win every time?
TAC: I've never said that I've won every time. I've just stated that I've never lost.
TIC: Ain't that the same thing ?
TAC: I've never lost because I don't give up. And this is the first rule. But the second is to always know that the fights you're entering are worth your while. If you can't do that, you will give up on them at some point because they are not relevant anymore and you'll find yourself in a double loss situation. You have lost the time invested in the battle along with it. "Don't give up" is just a catchy headline. What I'm trying to explain, it's a way of life ... not the best way, maybe ... a hard constant battle that can end up in a magical land or on a battle shield. Either way, you are guaranteed that you won't experience the 2 things I fear the most - regret and mediocrity.

The teacher

Imagine if he was your math teacher. Well he was mine and I'm forever thankful, not for the math lessons, but for the ones that had to do with life, attitude and social conduct. Ladies and gents, meet Bogdan Enescu, not only a math genius but a brilliant person.

mama

… pentru ca m-a invatat sa nu imi fie frica sa iubesc, sa rad, sa petrec, sa traiesc, sa ascult muzica aproape tot timpul si sa nu imi fie niciodata rusine sa recunosc asta intr-o lume care incearca constant sa iti spuna ca e gresit. Pentru ca am norocul ca omul asta minunat sa ma fi modelat si sa imi fie mama.
Te iubesc mama ! La multi ani cu zambete !

La grande bellezza

If you know me, you know that is almost impossible for me to say this about anything or anyone - "masterpiece". "La grande bellezza" - judge your hole life backwards and see how you went for the easy way, not the road that you've wanted but the most close to your comfort zone. A road that ends rough and abrupt when you feel the lack of substance and joy. The real joy of life.

tic-tac

TIC: You really are my missing part ! ... Actually I'm afraid that you are most people missing part and that means competition.
TAC: Can't see anything missing. Moreover a common missing part.
TIC: You have the joy of living in a world that you build, as you wish, and share with very few people. Now I'm the lucky one. You make the ordinary feel not just special but f**king unbelievable. I'm terrified to lose this. I'm just a passenger in a beautiful world that only you can build. Now that I've seen it, I can't live like I've used to ... like common people ...

your worst nightmare

What’s your worst nightmare? Being chased by your own demons? Drowning silently without anyone hearing you?
Or…
Is it your own kinks you’re terrified of?

On the 12th of April, bring your pleasure. Turn your nightmares into decadence. Turn your dark hedonism from nightmare to wonderland.

Don’t worry if it’s weird. We like it weird.

Dear Karen,

If you’re reading this it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it, so good for me. You don’t know me very well, but if you get me started I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me. But this, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. There’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it, I met someone. It was an accident, I wasn’t looking for it, I wasn’t on the make—it was a perfect storm. She said one thing, I said another. Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there’s this feeling in my gut: She might be the one.
She’s completely nuts, in a way that makes me smile—highly neurotic, a great deal of maintenance required. She is you, Karen. That’s the good news. The bad is that I don’t know how to be with you right now, and that scares the shit out of me. Because if I am not with you right now, I have this feeling we will get lost out there. It’s a big, bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment—the moment that could’ve changed everything. I don’t know what’s going on with us, and I can’t tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me. But damn you smell good, like home. And you make excellent coffee; that’s got to count for something, right?

Call me.

Unfaithfully Yours,
Hank Moody

Kindness

is a behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant disposition, and concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and recognized as a value in many cultures and religions (see ethics in religion). Research has shown that acts of kindness does not only benefit receivers of the kind act, but also the giver, as a result of the release of neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of contentment and relaxation when such acts are committed.

rain

as easy and as naturally as it may come. don't take it for granted. one day it can be lost forever.
and then ... only the rain ...